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What's a poor guy to do? He's into sadomasochistic sex, and wants his Schwetties lopped off as the ultimate expression of... Well, I don't even want to get into what it's an ultimate expression of, but his doctor obviously isn't willing to join the fun, so he goes to his local dungeon for a night of "pleasure" that will make him a new man, so to speak.

As you would expect, the local prosecutor has a problem with this.
"It's extremely bizarre," District Attorney Michael Bonfoey said in a telephone interview. "It's incredible the amount of ways that people can find to run afoul of the law."
I see, it's "bizarre" not because somebody would want to get castrated for some kind of sexual adventure, but because the dungeon masters don't have the proper licenses.

Apparently, there's actually a law on the books in Hayward county North Carolina specifically prohibiting "castration without malice", and of course, "conspiracy to commit castration without malice". This must have been a crime of epidemic proportions if it prompted the county board to spend some of their valuable time carefully crafting a law to address it.
"Assuming that the victims consented to this - and we don't know that for sure yet - that doesn't make it a defense," Bonfoey said.
Sure, we can't have people performing any kind of technical services without the state asserting their authority over it. We just can't allow people who want that service able to contract voluntarily with people who are willing to perform that service without the state getting their, um, cut.

There was no "victim" in this crime - nobody came forward to complain about mistreatment or even dissatisfaction with the unlicenced doctors' bedside manner. Police were initially frustrated in their efforts to keep the community safe from private, discreet consensual sex that is different from the way everyone else does it by the fact that the state and county legislators had not yet thought to pass a law against bondage and lashing. However, once some unnamed citizen made statements that implied that there was in fact something occuring there that the county had thought to make illegal, the cops were free to swoop in and protect their community from something that otherwise no one in that community would have even been aware was happening.

Apparently, it was at this point that, as bizarre as the whole thing is to the rest of us, it became officially bizarre to the politicians. But I guess it wouldn't be bizarre to this DA if all the paperwork had been in order.


You know, it's stories like that one that make me want to pull the covers over my head.

We live in a strange, strange time.

Posted by Francis W. Porretto at Sunday, April 02, 2006 10:36 AM


I't ain't my head I'm wanting to pull the covers over.

Posted by kylben at Sunday, April 02, 2006 05:21 PM

I think it's important to spay or neuter your idiots. Of course that may be why the North Carolinians have outlawed such practices.

Posted by LibertyBob at Monday, April 03, 2006 04:39 AM

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